$10,000 comin’ in HAWT

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Well hellooooo JULY!
Summertime where the livin’ is easy….Summertime, summertime, sum, sum, summertime…ain’t no cure for the summertime blues……YEAH…all of that, all of this!
We’re in New England where it’s our time for ABUNDANCE….the BOUNTY of all things mean + green!
Ok, bottom line….here’s my fuck it list: (and in no particular order..just here to experience it happening)
🔥I use every ounce of my mojo to contribute to my world in some of the wildest, loving, generous + crazy ways before I exit.   Another words…I leave on E!
🔥Everyone in my world understands fully the impact they have/have had in my life (because I love telling you)
🔥I love so deep that when I’m in Bali with Michael Franti doing yoga and drinking a Mai tai that my kids can feel it in their bones where ever they might be.
🔥I am a world class money magnet {because I LOVE the feeling that comes from having an abundance of 🤑….can you say F.R.E.E.D.O.M?…. HOT🔥 + IMPORTANT POINT right here 👉: it’s not the money but the feeling I embody from having shit tons of it….let me say that again:  I LOVE THE FEELING THAT COMES FROM HAVING AN ABUNDANCE OF MOOLA!  
You see….I used to be shy + ashamed to even think this way….I mean, I’m kind of a hippy type gal that “should” be living off of love and sponge cake, yes?!  It’s not spiritual and cool to desire that dirty paper stuff …..
*input buzzer!   I fucking love the feeling that comes from having an ABUNDANCE of money…..
 
I’m such a believer in this practice we call LIFE and really feel like I’ve discovered the key to FREEDOM and each of ours looks drastically different (such a beautiful thing)….
I’m IN!  I’m committed to being the recipient of 10 G’s….(somebody has to do it, right 😁)
It’s fucking scary to claim this…especially to you all here on my email lists…..I mean, what if, what if……
yeah, nope *input another fucking buzzer!   It’s already on the way!  I can feel it!  Like…I really feel it…you know, those feelings I explained to you above 👆when I have an abundance of money and I get all googley.
 
This is a big deal for me to go public with this.  There’s FEAR and the big cock blocker and then there’s FEAR and FUCK it do it anyways.   Not sure if it’s an age thing or just being a well seasoned women on this earth 🌎 (quite frankly it doesn’t matter) I’m feeling more sure than ever that this life we are living is meant to be (mostly) with ease, abundant with love + fun……I think we’ve been rockin’ the wrong casbah and making it way to hard for ourselves.
 
If you see me……please ask me my current most feared question….”How’s that 10K rolling for you Beth?” 
I can’t wait to tell you where it’s at.
 
What am I up to this summer you ask?   Pssshhht….Massages, Coaching, Yoga classes public: (Wednesday 5:15pm; Saturday 8:30 a.m and more to come) also offering private yoga sessions on demand,  Meditation at NOON on Wednesdays and I’m even cleaning a few houses here and there.
802-234-6648 or right here on email works too.
Bringing the love, taking up lots of space + doing my utmost to keep it real;
beth
PS: check this from one of my favorite books ever…BIG Magic by elizabeth gilbert
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Fear of Dying

Oh it’s huge or should I say it WAS huge for me……the fear of not living the life I came here to live in other words…which I was (and a tiny bit still am) embarressed and afraid to say for so many years:  I’m scared shitless of Dying.

My intention with this post is to be short, semi sweet and leave you with a message that you’ll be pulling off your face for a long time.

In a nutshell, if I’m willing to admit (which I newly am) that I’ve got a big ass fear of dying then I’m taking away from the life I could be living….even if it’s a few fleeting thoughts a day….it’s taking me out of the game of life.    I was in complete denial of this for as many years as I can remember…hence the adrenaline junkie, dare me to do anything and I will, risk taking, fuck it let’s do it gal I am…..that way about me is real although the vibe underneath is what I’m poking at this morning.

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The reality is and always has been: No one gets out alive!  We all gonna die babe!  Let me set the record straight here…I’m not a worrier of traffic accidents or nuclear war kinda things…..my biggest fear was {key word was} that my body would fail me….that she would somehow suffer and I would miss out on the fun.  And the truth is, she will breakdown naturally and suffering, as we know… is always an option.

I work with a lot of people and can so clearly see them, I can see obstacles in their way, I can see where they are blocked and through powerful listening I allow them to hear themselves as if their own wise teacher within is teaching them.    The thing is when it comes to ourselves (I believe) there are blindspots…just like in driving…not sure why but they exist..that’s why we need others, others that we can trust, that have our backs and will listen without judgement so we can too, see into our blindspots.

Yesterday I saw mine…it’s been building up for me for awhile..I could feel the resistance to seeing it, I could tell that I was getting close to the fire because my body was screaming at me in many different languages: funky weird aches, diarrhea, random headaches….you know and I know that looking at this now it’s clear:  “STOP! Take a look within Beth……We’ve got a very important message for you:

‘Focus on what is working ever so beautifully in your life.  Cherish those ever loving mind blowing relationships you do have with all those you love.   Give big ass thanks for your wonderful machine of a body any time it gets your attention.  What we focus on we get more of…..just don’t be attatched to what it might be.   The Universe delivers the goods and “she’s” always matching your vibe….turn it up or turn it down….always your choice.’

If you’re reading this I love you!  You are what I love about being alive.  You are why I am here.  I’ve changed my major and it’s all about living…..Dying is inevitable for us all…hard core TRUTH-BOMB right there!  I’m just choosing to not live with dying on the agenda.  How can I enjoy the ride when all I’m doing is fast forwarding + fearing to my deathbed?

This WAS a Big Fucking Deal in my world….like BIG FUCKING dealio…..It’s newfound and it’ll take practice to keep it in check but I’m loving the feeling this realization infuses me with so I have no doubt that I’m in for some life enhancing rides.

*BIG DISCLAMER: If life’s a party {which it truly is} and I fear not being at it all the time….I never truly enjoy the party…kinda like I’m never really there.  And this girl, she no likey to miss a paahhhhtayyy!

Your World is your Runway…..the more you CELEBRATE your life..the more there is in life to CELEBRATE

 

Pass me some o’ dat Yes with a little Yes sauce on top…please

I had my hubby take this pic when we were on vacation because when i’m on vacation loaded with the feelings of freedom, adventure, joy and excitement my desire(ability) is so {on}! This pic is a clear reminder of my desire for traveling, teaching, connecting and making a HUGE diff & impact in the world. Guess what? It’s working! I’m doing it all!

What happens when we say No? Ok, yup, it’s a distinct boundary which can be crucial to growth….ok, anything else? yup, we stop the flow of whatever it is we’re saying no to….anything else? You! you over there with your hand in the air….whatcha got? YES! what? I couldn’t hear that…..”DESIRE can’t flow with a NO!”

Emily and I have been priming the pump with our latest workshop and it’a all about DESIRE! Sounds steamy right? Maybe it sounds overwhelming or out of your reach for now…..Guess what? Everything you do comes from some sort of desirous flame and the beauty of this factoid is that you get to turn it up (or down) as you choose. You see, most people think desires are things, ways of being or hot steamy sex…..don’t get me wrong , desiring can result in things, ways of being and hot steamy sex but here’s the thing we want you to get: DESIRE is the vessel, the conduit, the tube if you will that embodies all the feels you experience when you are thinking about something that brings you joy, pleasure or excitement.

The workshop is a container for you to reclaim, rekindle, redirect, fire up, remember your DESIRE vessel… It is said that Desire often arises from an unconscious place. This means that our desires choose us. Having desire results in a strong yearning for something, whether it is an event, person or thing. Surrendering to them simply means the act of stopping the fight for desire. If you surrender to desire, it means allowing something to happen. Surrendering to desire is not about not taking action, it is about allowing things to unfold in a natural way, trusting the universe with the outcome.

Now I’ve said enough….if you feel the pull…I advise you to follow it…for this is your desire vessel summoning you to look this way…like a kid grabbing your finger and saying “over here, just come look, I want you to see this”.

The workshop deets: Place: True Center Yoga Randolph Vermont When: Saturday March 16th 3:30-7:30pm {Apres workshop Desirous catered food, wine and chocolate too.} Cost: $75 inclusive of 4hour workshop plus dynamite post party. Need more info? email beth: bethumba@gmail.com Don’t need any more info and you want to get your space solidified (as we are capping it off at 25)? Do it here: https://www.truecenteryoga.com/prices

Come build your DESIRE muscle with us through sacred circling, yoga (for all levels), journey dance (no experience necessary AT ALL) and food and spirits following the event. The sisterhood alone is worth it’s weight in Platinum!

Ride out the Heavy

*Warning: Don’t be surprised if you end up noticing a similar situation in your life after reading this post….you’re probably not going to be able to resist riding out your heavy.    You’re welcome ahead of time. 

The sun always, always shines through

 

It’s a miracle that we can’t predict or see all that’s coming down the pike in our lives. As much as I’d like to be prepared for the future…there are some things that are best left as full on trainwreck surprises!

This weekend I conquered a life long (hell, probably many life times long) breakdown with a certain style of male human. (Ignorant, passive aggressive, small minded, lonely af, patriarchal…..all of this) You know when you reach a place in a situation and realize that you’ve been here before and the feelings and familiarity of the situation you’re experiencing SUCKS and SUCKS hard!….and all you want to do is feel “normal” and back to comfy….like get me outta here….I hate this feeling……Yeah…That’s what happened to me. Niagra Falls style happened to me!

You see, by this man being his angry, lonely, resentful self toward me it flooded me with many memories of other males of my past with the same crusty ass traits……I was not only flooded but paralyzed with endless negative memories…..the body & the brain, she holds what she holds and releases all of that old shit when it’s triggered and that’s when things feel crazy….like caged tiger crazy.

I couldn’t even talk about it without balling. My jaw hurt because I wanted to hold back the wailing….because I might seem weak and even more vulnerable and hell I need to survive…..it’s that heavy or so it seemed. My throat was tight and restricted and buckets of salty ass tears just streamed down my cheeks. Why? Why the fuck is he targeting me? How come people can be so mean? Especially when what he was throwing my way was nothing but inaccurate chunks of spewy information.

Oh, I got super up close and personal with my fire….my mean streak, my way of being that could potentially take him out at the knees….it rose like a mother fucking crest of a tsunami…..and oh how I wanted to retaliate with mean girl type vengence….I remembered what we taught our kids though….when lashing out in anger with intent to hurt instant gratification is all you’ll ever get and it’s gone as soon as it leaves your lips. Ride the Heavy….Stay with it….There’s some pretty spectacular nuggets inside.

I shit you not….it was like lifetimes of memories, thoughts, struggles, hold-backs and pain just bubbling up inside. THIS WAS MY TURNING POINT.

You see when we experience an old wound or weak spot in our psyche it never feels good…. most of us bounce off of the shitty feels and look for the feel good……totally human, yes? Yesterday, as I sat across our kitchen table from my ever loving hubs and literally held my head in my hands because otherwise it was going to drop on the table…I gave him one last “I really don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing with this shit that’s come my way”. He looked at me and said “What vibe do you want to embody right now?” It came to me like a jolt of electricity……DON’T FUCK WITH ME!

Nobody can fuck with you without your consent…..but it’s so fun to say!

As soon as I said it…I knew… I knew that was it, she was mine and I was hers…we were it! I know in my bones that in order to conquer/overcome/blaze a new trail/get a new result/change the DNA in my lineage line I have to blaze a new one….and not just map it out, feel it all, be it all and stay with it.

I compiled an email (that’s how he initiated our communication mid-week last week) that nailed my every thought with intention that reeked of DFWM-ness. Ya know….unshakeble, unstoppable and the likes. I proudly sent my power-packed message and called it quits on any further communication wtih this man. (First time ever I’ve blocked anyone…felt so goooooood!) I’ve never done this before…..I mean I’ve always left the door open….because maybe I was being a coward for closing it and not wanting to hear what else might be said, or maybe I would shush myself and act like nothing every happened, or maybe I thought I should apologize for being over the top outraged?

Not this time, this time I rode out the heavy….I felt like a soaking 165lb sea sponge and continued to stay with it…..There truly is something to be said about feeling it all, all the crunchy, yucky, thick, stinky, heavy, hauntingly familiar feels that come as a result of the Universe dishing you up exactly what you can handle right here and now.

I can freely, honestly and whole mutha flippin’ heartedly say that I broke the seal! Where I (and probably most women in my lineage & community) have high-tailed around, stifled or froze in their tracks in fear of being shut down. Perhaps this is not for everyone,,,I get that…but the thought of breaking new trail for generations to come moves me like Jagger only wishes he could.

And for now, I’m wallowing in awe….in the reality of how right around the corner from my usual turn back point is where shit gets real, real in a sense of evolving on purpose and breaking through what I came here to break through. This feels like it had been with me for lifetimes.

Perhaps someday I’ll genuinely thank this dude for being the catalyst for this monumental break-through and allowing me to dig out my true DON’T FUCK WITH ME flag and fly it proudly….for now, he’s not even deserving of that.

2019…the year of the belly~

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Your body, the container for your soul, love her.

Hello Lovelies;

I’m in my element these days mustering up all the good juju I can about my upcoming workshop for women and how to activate their power, creativity, beauty and life experience via a new relationship with their bellies.  (It’s so BIG that I even struggle to fit all that it is in one sentence! Ahhhhhhh)

I’ve always been intrigued with women’s relationships with their bellies…I mean I’ve had my own struggles as a tween, teen, twenty-something, thirty-something and forty-something with mine. I’ve sucked it in, crunched it out, shamed the shit out of it and wished it away on and off over the years.  I’m certainly NOT making myself wrong for doing and being who I was and am….no way! For it is within the struggle that has allowed me to show up the way I do now and want to change the world via women and their bellies.

Think about it….what’s the part of your body that you don’t want anyone to see?  Most women I’ve talked with would much rather have their ass or breasts exposed in front of a large audience before their belly…and some have never comfortably exposed their bellies to their intimate partners!  And yet, it’s our second brain, our gut feelings, our gestation station,  and it’s our home of assimilation and filters……and yet we continue to numb it and send it packing.

Yes, there’s so much there, right?!  And yet…our belly area is the center of ourselves or we can easily say.. the center of the Universe.  Say it!  My Belly is my Center!  It is the central hub of my BEing!  It connects North to South, East to West and intake to outbound.  ALL OF IT!   And still it’s hidden, it’s stowed away, protected, stuffed into garments that suffocate it and left to just feel inadequate and ashamed of.   Let’s be real here ladies…….it’s all of this!

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What if I told you that as you free and love your belly that your life subsequently feels free and full of love?

What if I told you that your intuition, your all knowing as the woman that you are sharpens and it’s voice comes back into the forefront when you honor, nurture and free all beliefs and restraints around your belly?

What if I told you that when allowing yourself to crack open in a space with other women you give them the permission to do the same.  And oh how this world is craving that.

What if I told you that your belly houses both the 2nd & 3rd chakras?  Big stuff happens in this area:  Second chakra is the powerhouse for our emotional body, sensuality and creativity (pretty much the strong suit of being a woman)  and the Third chakra houses the energy of  personal power, self-esteem and confidence.   Mutha Flippin’ dynamic duo right there!

What if I told you that you really don’t need me to tell you or convince you of anything….that you already know that your life would be so different if you understood, appreciated, unleashed, loved and freed your belly.  Right now…what state of being is your belly in?  Can you feel into this center?  Are you breathing into this center like we were born to ?  How would it feel if you were to unveil her and let her be in her maybe soft, curvy, hairy, stretch-marky, concave, tight, loose beauty?

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Yeah…that!  If by reading that last paragraph you just experienced fear + excitement that’s perfect!  That’s your sign to join yogini extraordinaire Emily Harvey Dooley , intuitive energy therapist Pamela Busby, Joni White-Hansenand I on Saturday January 12th from 1-6pm at The Women’s Room for a day of honoring, embellishing, exposing, breathing, seeing, being seen and fine tuning into your own divine frequency through circle, sharing, yoga, energy healing, journey dancing and nourishment.

We guarantee that we’ll create a clearing for all women who partake in our workshop to be able to see themselves, feel themselves and show up in more of who they truly desire to be.  Your center will be fortified, nurtured and loved on like never before.  You will create new bonds with each other that will last a lifetime.   This is huge and so necessary in our world today.  Our center is our light!  How do we ever expect to live full on in all of our desired opportunities if we hide our light?

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We have room for 14 women.  The fee is just $119. If you have a belly this is for you.  The workshop energy starts when you say yes and sign up.  We’ll create a private facebook page exclusively for the women as they register.  We know that partaking in a workshop like this takes something….it takes guts and a big desire to live LARGE!

belly at womens roomTanya Markul: thug unicorn

Are you IN?


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What if I told you….

 

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Your body, the container for your soul, love her.

Hello Lovelies;

I’m in my element these days mustering up all the good juju I can about my upcoming workshop for women and how to activate their power, creativity, beauty and life experience via a new relationship with their bellies.  (It’s so BIG that I even struggle to fit all that it is in one sentence! Ahhhhhhh)

I’ve always been intrigued with women’s relationships with their bellies…I mean I’ve had my own struggles as a tween, teen, twenty-something, thirty-something and forty-something with mine. I’ve sucked it in, crunched it out, shamed the shit out of it and wished it away on and off over the years.  I’m certainly NOT making myself wrong for doing and being who I was and am….no way! For it is within the struggle that has allowed me to show up the way I do now and want to change the world via women and their bellies.

Think about it….what’s the part of your body that you don’t want anyone to see?  Most women I’ve talked with would much rather have their ass or breasts exposed in front of a large audience before their belly…and some have never comfortably exposed their bellies to their intimate partners!  And yet, it’s our second brain, our gut feelings, our gestation station,  and it’s our home of assimilation and filters……and yet we continue to numb it and send it packing.

Yes, there’s so much there, right?!  And yet…our belly area is the center of ourselves or we can easily say.. the center of the Universe.  Say it!  My Belly is my Center!  It is the central hub of my BEing!  It connects North to South, East to West and intake to outbound.  ALL OF IT!   And still it’s hidden, it’s stowed away, protected, stuffed into garments that suffocate it and left to just feel inadequate and ashamed of.   Let’s be real here ladies…….it’s all of this!

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What if I told you that as you free and love your belly that your life subsequently feels free and full of love?

What if I told you that your intuition, your all knowing as the woman that you are sharpens and it’s voice comes back into the forefront when you honor, nurture and free all beliefs and restraints around your belly?

What if I told you that when allowing yourself to crack open in a space with other women you give them the permission to do the same.  And oh how this world is craving that.

What if I told you that your belly houses both the 2nd & 3rd chakras?  Big stuff happens in this area:  Second chakra is the powerhouse for our emotional body, sensuality and creativity (pretty much the strong suit of being a woman)  and the Third chakra houses the energy of  personal power, self-esteem and confidence.   Mutha Flippin’ dynamic duo right there!

What if I told you that you really don’t need me to tell you or convince you of anything….that you already know that your life would be so different if you understood, appreciated, unleashed, loved and freed your belly.  Right now…what state of being is your belly in?  Can you feel into this center?  Are you breathing into this center like we were born to ?  How would it feel if you were to unveil her and let her be in her maybe soft, curvy, hairy, stretch-marky, concave, tight, loose beauty?

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Yeah…that!  If by reading that last paragraph you just experienced fear + excitement that’s perfect!  That’s your sign to join Emily Harvey Dooley  and I on Saturday October 20th from 3-8pm at the True Center Yoga in Randolph Vermont for a day of honoring, embellishing, exposing, breathing, seeing, being seen and fine tuning into your own divine frequency through circle, sharing, yoga, creativity and dinner.

We guarantee that we’ll create a clearing for all women who partake in our workshop to be able to see themselves, feel themselves and show up in more of who they truly desire to be.  Your center will be fortified, nurtured and loved on like never before.  You will create new bonds with each other that will last a lifetime.   This is huge and so necessary in our world today.  Our center is our light!  How do we ever expect to live full on in all of our desired opportunities if we hide our light?

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We have room for 25 women.  The fee is $85 inclusive of workshop followed by dinner.  If you have a belly this is for you.  The workshop energy starts when you say yes and sign up.  We’ll create a private facebook page for all women who are attending.  We know that partaking in a workshop like this takes something….it takes guts and a big desire to live LARGE!

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Are you in?


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Estrogen Made me do it {or lack of}

 

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Wait, what?  Maybe, just maybe.. a woman’s va-jay-jay is simply not supposed to be entered upon by anything, nothing, nodda at a certain point in life.  Like whoever thought of this?  Not me….have you?

Lemme rewind and share my story with you so you can get the whole gist of what I’m stepping in.  Weeks back there was this incidence one Sunday afternoon {oh and I have my hubby’s total blessings on sharing our stuff…ask him he’ll tell ya :)} okay, okay back to the juice…..one Sunday afternoon things got a little cray at 411 N. Main and well….we had a touch of the empty nest fever and had some fun……ok, fast forward to the next day…I noticed something weird happening that doesn’t usually happen and it truly seemed like it came out of the blue.  I was experiencing excessive discharge (ok, this feels weird too but oh well) and just about felt like I was peeing my pants.  Ehh I thought maybe it’s from the shower I just took?  Nope….it continued throughout the night and definitely had my attention.

The next day I called my Gyno whom I haven’t seen in a year or so and was told that she’s out on medical leave and when asked who they are referring patients out to they paused and said….Planned Parenthood?  So appointment was made and off I anxiously shuffled to PP.  I kinda felt like a teenager again sitting in the office waiting for the practitioner to gently knock and come on in.

She entered the room and immediately I felt safe and comfy.  She was a few years older than me and had a funky, laid back way about her that I totally dug.  Went through my story with her, added my concerns and still she held that comforting way about her that really set the stage for me to share away, ask away and BE in my skin.  She asked some random questions and as I jogged my memory of what might’ve been different in the past few days I remembered using this little door prize red plastic pillow full of special “warming” lube that I won at a sex toy party this past summer….OMG! That’s it!  Thank God!  Not so fast sister!!!  You would’ve thought that I had just discovered sliced bread!  This had to be the answer!  Of course she agreed but still wanted to check things out.

As I lay on the paper lined examining table and crinkled my butt up to the edge which always feels awkward because I always wonder if anyone has ever gone too far and the practitioner has to tell ’em to put it in reverse and back that baby up!  She looked and talked and was describing exactly what she was seeing and it all sounded “normal” to me as well as to her.  She did a swab and told me to get dressed and she’d take a look under the microscope.  I did what I was told to do 🙂 and sat and waited with a sense of relief too I might add.

She came back in and before she even closed the door behind her she said “Yup, you’re gonna be fine”.  Isn’t that what we all wanna hear?  She proceeded to tell me that I am pretty much on E with my Estrogen.   Ok, so now what?  How does that happen and what’s the root of this I asked.  She looked in my eyes and said “honey, you’re 55 and this is what happens…”     I mean I get that shifts happen and I’m all about riding the aging wave gracefully and wholeheartedly… I actually love how powerful middle life feels as a woman.   Right away she prescribed a synthetic estrogen supplement that is a time released 90 day apparatus that you keep inside.  Ok, so I can be bit of a freak when it comes to synthetics in my bod but I felt like I was a sleep walking and just following the bread crumbs and trusting where they might lead.

I headed of to CVS and was actually floored by how many people were standing in line to get prescriptions….anyway…I dropped the ‘script off and hung out.  The pharmacist called me up and asked if I had a coupon.  I said “nope,why?” Well….this prescription costs $517 and your insurance will cover ZERO.   Screw it…..I still went for it….Got the script and left feeling like something was off….something just ain’t right.

I followed PP’s instructions and popped that estrogen ring in.  I used to use a diaphragm years ago so no biggie.  Again…something felt off….yup and something just ain’t right.  Things got weird and I’m not sure if it was my head getting in the way and taking over or what.

I felt unsettled and made a new appointment at another practice recommended by a girlfriend.  I called on a whim and they just so happened to have an opening the very next day with the doctor that specialized in the whole estrogen thanggggg.  Yipeee…I love when that shit happens.  I met with the doc and she confirmed the whole estrogen thing and I again asked “what actually happens?  why is it showing up like the flood gates are opening when other women my age are talking about the exact opposite happening in their va-jay-jay?”  She looked at me and said this: “The vagina needs estrogen….cut and dry.”   BOOM!  DONE!  She said take a week (she was headed out on vacation) and come back and see me and we’ll straighten out the estrogen thing.

I left there feeling super grateful that they got me in so quickly AND that I was now back in my curious saddle in total touch with my intuition and had some new philosophies of my own that I was about to deconstruct.

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So here’s the full circle dealio…If our bodies, as women, produce estrogen (as it does) primarily it plays an essential role in the growth and development of female secondary sexual characteristics, such as breasts, pubic and armpit hair, and the regulation of the menstrual cycle and reproductive system along with being the “looking younger” hormone.(*There’s a whole lot more to know and learn about estrogen but this was all I needed.)     I got to thinking about how the inside tissue of the vaginal wall naturally thins out as a result of declining estrogen levels which happens during menopause which means we are DONE menstruating which means we’re done procreating so maybe, just maybe we were made to not have anything in our va-jay’s?   I’m not anti sex and hell, never really experienced painful menopausal sex but…..what if at this time in our lives ladies… we are all about a whole new pleasure?  What if we were made to shift up into a new way of experiencing sex?

Like how many women out here think that there’s something “wrong” with them because things just aren’t like they used to be?  And I’m not just talking anatomy here, I’m talking desire too.  You still love your partner but there’s no communication about what’s happening or what’s not happening.  What if you got really clear on what if feels like to be YOU in your body at whatever age you’re at and got clear with where you stand with wanting or not wanting sex… The choice has always been yours…it’s just that as we age it seems like we often get caught up in comparing ourselves now with who we used to be sexually….hence the “what’s wrong with me” broken record.

Maybe it’s time for a new revolution~ maybe we aren’t so private about who we are when it comes to sex.  Maybe we become truly uninterested in sex (that can be super sexy in itself because it could be the truth), maybe just maybe we find freedom in saying what is so for ourselves (men and women) when it comes to sex.  I often think about men taking the “little blue pill” and how maybe, just maybe it ain’t supposed to work that way anymore….perhaps there’s nothing wrong with anybody.  Maybe it’s time to BE with what is and create or not new ways to be fulfilled through sex or not.

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I wonder what the world would be like if people were truly accepting of the way our bodies progress and I don’t mean to give up…I mean just the opposite…really commit to your body, take great care of it, listen to it and share it if you choose.  I know my truth with this matter has opened up a whole new avenue for connection with my guy.  I’m truly blessed to both articulate what’s going on with me AND be in cahoots with a dude that digs openness on this level.  FYI ladies he says it’s actually a huge turn on when I share with him on this level.  I have to say that even in our close knit relationship of 25 years I still felt reluctant to share about my truth and my ever changing healthy ass body.

You just never know what’ll open up when you discover your gutsy truth and share it with the ones you love.   I can’t wait to experience what’s next!  Thanks for reading this long ass piece, it’s been a long time coming AND I said I would ….. I know your attention span was really working hard…appreciate it and YOU!

BIG LOVE all the way around

Step In, Rise Up & Root Down in Vermont

Womens retreat

Dear Wild Eyed Sisterhood;

The time has come to gather in the lush mountains of Vermont.  How do I know it’s time?  I work with the power of 3’s and I’ve been hit by the love bomb of way more than three amazing women asking when can they gather with other sisters and dive in, root down and rise up together…so I’m answering the call.

The gathering this year will be held in Bolton at the Lotus Mountain Retreat all day Saturday November 18th.  The flavor of this retreat is all about stepping into the woman you desire to be with all of your guts & glory.  If you’re a woman who is feeling the itch to step into more of who you are even if your heart is thumping through your chest and the thought of it scares the life out of you…this is your opportunity to step in, rise up and root down into your very next desired layer of Self.

This retreat is for you if :

  • you’re ready and open to explore who you are on a much deeper level than ever before.
  • have questioned your passion and desires and are ready to rediscover what they are and bring them to the surface so they can be seethat
  • you thrive on being in a community of other women who are ready to open up and transform
  • you’re not afraid to feel vulnerable, speak your truth, connect with other women, trust the process of the day that we are co-creating for you.
  • you know how you want to feel in your skin every damn day and you are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen
  • you want to fall in love with yourself again exactly the same way you did when you came into this life.

Check out the facilitators of this transformational day:

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I’m honored to welcome Emily Harvey Dooley.  For nearly 16 years, Emily has been utilizing massage, energy work and yoga to hold space for others.  Her intention is to remind people to return to gratitude and presence within their bodies and to help open their awareness to their deep connection with source energy.  In 2001 Emily completed her training at the Green Mountain Institute for integrative bodywork in Bennington Vermont.  Since then she has worked full time in this field and has continued to add depth to her work through training and hands on experience.  In 2015 after a lifetime of practicing yoga she completed a 500 hour Advanced Yoga Teacher training at Honest Yoga in Burlington Vermont.  Emily is passionate about her path in life and truly enjoys helping to bring people into the present moment through touch and movement.  She is a conduit, creator of magical moments, seeker of silver linings, lover of life, adoring wife and proud mother of 3 wonderful boys.

 

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I’d also like to welcome Joni White-Hansen.   Joni is a lover of dance, yoga, play, nature, art, community and an adventurer of the inner landscapes of the body, mind and spirit. Joni is a JourneyDance Facilitator, Yoga Dance Teacher, Art and Enrichment Educator and CIrcus Artist in Residence.  Joni finds joy while inspiring others to tap into their divine, beautiful and playful selves; encouraging one’s own inquiry in discovering their true magnificence and authenticity.  Passionate in celebrating connection of the heart while becoming deeply embodied, Joni invites vitality and joy while creating sacred space through dance.  She believes weaving ritual and intention through dance offers opportunities for transformation and self awakening, inviting gateways for the heart and body to enter into a deep creative process.

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And then there’s me, Beth Umba, woman on a mission, party/gathering planner extraordinaire, coach for women, mama, bodywork therapist, lover and in constant pursuit of BE-ing a space of love for what is so in every present moment. I love being cause in the matter when it comes to personal transformation and BEing that space for others to remember their deepest, most born with desires as they allow them to come out and be seen.  My jam is free lance inquiry…when I allow myself to be curious and free with others I give them permission to do the same.

I am committed to bringing my whole self: heart, soul, body and mind to the retreat (hell I’ve already jumped in….feet first and hands in the air)  I am committed to you getting what you need as a woman who has registered and is ready to dive deep, get out of your head and into your body and share yourself with the perfect combination of sisters that will show up with you.  My desire is for all women to do whatever it is they need to get themselves to Bolton and as soon as they are registered….BOOM!  the journey begins. I see women sharing, feeling vulnerable, feeling safe, being seen, connecting, laughing, crying, loving, realizing, remembering, amazed and leaving the day feeling empowered, validated in a way they’ve never been before.

Are you ready to claim your place in sisterhood?

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Please email me at:  bethumba@gmail.com if you have any questions.

If you’re ready to jump in and join your sisters you can do so by hitting the button below.    BE IN COMMUNICATION THOUGH AS WE ALREADY HAVE WOMEN REGISTERING….NO PROCRASTINATING, JUMP IF YOU’RE FEELING IT……LET YOUR HEART LEAD THIS ONE.

We have space for 40 women….will you be one of them?

huge PS: this retreat is for all who identify as a woman, all beautiful body sizes and shapes, whether or not you’ve ever done yoga or journey dance before…this is for you if you’re feeling the excitement and fear as you read through the offering.  Do yourself a favor and Step In, Rise Up and Root Down….you will be glad you did..we promise. 

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What if nobody comes to my party?

 

21533896_10155530705771181_309438216_o*The pic is of my beautiful granddaughter Lilly and it represents for me, what it might feel like if nobody came to my party (and that’s the kicker…it’s never happened I’ve just been living life in fear of nobody coming!)  Enjoy my story and I invite you to consider coming to my party…..I want you there!  All of you!

 

Recently I discovered how “what if nobody comes to my party” ruled my world in so many ways.  Of course I love parties, I love to have them, go to them, read about them, dream about them and live them.

A few weekends ago I made the declaration that I want to become more of a leader in my world.  I want to lead like I mean it, make a difference, be the contribution I came here to be and feel it down deep in my bones.  It’s kinda crazy and powerful what happens when you declare something like this in a room full of 70+ people who will inevitably hold me accountable.  Onward…….

Fast forward a week, still holding true to being a leader and making magic happen throughout the week.  I totally stepped up to the plate and got a hold of a group of people that I meet with every week and upped the ante with my leadership hat on, I had conversations with clients that ordinarily don’t happen such as inviting them to come more often or referring them to another bodyworker because I don’t think I’m the best fit.   Yeah…..that happened too.  It’s kinda cool to watch life unravel while you have your eye on who you are creating yourself to be.  It’s called living intentionally.

Quick story: I attended a wedding last weekend where a women (that I didn’t even know) came up to me and said ” you’re Beth, I knew this was you!  You’re amazing and I love and follow your blog!”  (hello kick in the pants…time to blog)  First of all I felt bashful and felt myself wanting to get real small and vanish in the dance floor and thank goodness I stuck out the hip hop and you don’t stop step and received that shit….because…guess what??  This fits into who I am creating myself to be….a leader!  Hellz yes!

The night got even better for me.  I enjoyed myself to the nines, drank just enough, ate just enough and laughed a ton…no limits on that.   I enjoyed dancing with my guy and going home with just enough energy and clarity that I slept like a babe.  I felt fantastic when I got up.  I headed out to my Sunday yoga class and on the way I was totally struck by the buzz of just how fabulous my life is, just how amazing I felt in my skin, just how grateful I am for this body to be able to have fun, get a lil’ crazy and get up and flow in my yoga class.  I was literally moved to tears.  I got to yoga and had to share what came to me on the ride over and this is what makes it real, this is what makes it so it stays…I BE-come this, I AM this.

This is powerful people!  I want for everyone to take the opportunity that we all have to experience this feeling and create a life for themselves that feels no less than stellar.   We aren’t here to suffer.  Suffering is a hint, it’s a sign that you’re headed in a direction that doesn’t serve your true, bone deep desires.  We are ALL freedom seekers and we all feel freedom so vastly different.

I am inviting you to my party! You, Yes..you!!

I’ve co-created an event that’s happening this coming November 18th in Bolton at the Lotus Mountain Retreat Center.  Women Unravel into their Wholeness: Come & Remember your Fierce, Funky and Freedom.   This is a day long event that will include yoga, journey dance, exploration, connection, delicious meals, transformation and a clearing for all women to discover or rediscover who they are, why they’re here and where they’re going with an emphasis on Fierce, Funky and Freedom.   It’s exactly what’s necessary as we head into the fall/winter….we get in our bodies, experience all that is, and leave the day with a newfound sense of self.

The cost is $155 inclusive of deliciously prepared organic vegan meals and a whole day with myselfEmily Harvey Dooley and Toni Bergins.   I know I want you to come to the party…the question is…will you come to the party?

 

I’ll be creating a facebook event page real soon with more details (if you need them…’cause you probably already know you wanna go :))

Stay tuned and keep your party alive…invite us in!

with love and so much more;

beth

What if….

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As I sit here in my kitchen with an abundance of creative energy just buzzing around my body…it feels like and seems like I can’t figure out where to go with it.

 

Is it my job to “figure” this out?  What if I just let it have it’s way with me?  What if I just watched it buzz and dance in my face?  What if I moved however the flip I am moved to move with it?  What if I was to ignore it?

I used to call this my “cat on a hot tin roof” mode as if something was wrong with me because I couldn’t funnel my energy into just one thing…..’cause we’re here to be good at one thing and run with it, right?!  Ha! NOPE.

I’m noticing now more than ever how much information there is out there in the world via conversations, social media, billboards (not in Vermont though) and it’s all outside stimulation.   I have to check myself at the door when I’m being immersed in new information or the latest and greatest invention ever or the best feel good juice out there or do this now and don’t do that or the eat this, not that……you catch my drift.

What happened to my inner compass that knows me better than any new found information out there?  The True North that is created by how I love to feel in my bones,  in my body, every dang day….yeah, that True North.   How can I be true to mySelf through all this outside stimulation?

This is NO mystery to me…it’s what happens when I hand myself over to wanting what I think I should want or whatever other people want or what others think I should want or how about just throwing myself out there just because I don’t want to be responsible for the choices I make?   There is nothing wrong here and there is NOTHING to fix…but here’s the thing……following that inner niggling of desire that lives at the core of my being is pertinent to living my life full on and out…..FACT!

What I’ve created thus far is the ultimate stage for me to BE in the space of tuning in and following my ever lovin’ bliss.   Check this out:  I’m self employed, I’ve got an imagination that makes Disney look kinda silly and I’ve got peeps in my life that reflect back to me the same love and trust I put out AND most importantly I’ve got all the money & love in the world invested in that the sweet Universe has always, always, always…got my back. (That my friends, never waivers…..the rest of the stuff might but that……Nevaaaa!

And I bet you wanna know what is at the core of this groovy, creative energy that is whirling around my body like a meteor shower is all about, don’t you?  I’d feel like I was ripping you off if I didn’t share this with you….here’s what’s bubbling and I can’t wait to see where it takes me:  Guiding Women back to their True North, Yoga Teacher Training, Home Infusions: Cleaning, Clearing and Infusing your Living Space, More Yoga, Online Group Coaching on how your relationship with Money and Sex are intertwined, buying a new home, creating a local Ya Ya Sisterhood, Morning Confessions: Share your shit and be free.

What if all of these exciting to me ideas came to be?  What if they all just stayed as thoughts and buzzy ideas?   What if something BIGGER than all of this is hanging in the ethers behind these ideas just waiting for me to experience it?  What the flip if?

What if this is exactly what you needed to read today?

Oh God, do I love you!

 

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